5 Upcoming movie reboots that nobody asked for and nobody wants

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It wouldn’t be too crazy to assume that Hollywood is running out of ideas. Instead of getting exciting new stories a lot of classics are being rebooted for the modern day, and nobody wants them. Here are 5 upcoming movie reboots that will hopefully never see the light of day.

A cinematic reboot isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes a film’s concept and theme may be dated when viewed through a modern lens which makes a reboot a likely and logical choice. Unfortunately, that is rarely the case.

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Bradley Cooper’s and Todd Phillips’ A Star is Born is a perfect example of a reboot/remake done right; it’s been years since the last reboot and now, more than ever, is a perfect time for a modern retelling of this classic love story with themes that are relevant today. But it is rare to find a reboot that makes sense. Most remakes are merely a lazy effort at a quick cash grab.

Even if a quick cash grab is not the film maker’s intention a reboot could, and most likely always is, a terrible idea; especially when the film being rebooted is a cult classic that has stood the test of time.

Here are 5 upcoming movie reboots that nobody asked for and nobody wants.

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Big Trouble in Little China
5 upcoming movie reboots: Big Trouble in Little China

The original Big Trouble in Little China, directed by John Carpenter, was first released back in 1986. It was poorly received in theatres but became a cult classic over the years.

The Big Trouble in Little China reboot will allegedly star Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as the lead. Dwayne Johnson is no stranger to reboots as we’ve seen him ruin another great classic like Jumanji. According to Seven Bucks Productions, it won’t be a traditional reboot but instead a “continuation of the story” of the original film. Even Carpenter himself has expressed discontent for the upcoming reboot.

SCARFACE

Scarface reboot
Upcoming movie reboots: Scarface

Can anyone replace Al Pacino as Scarface? It has long been rumoured that a Scarface reboot was in the works, but unsurprisingly the film’s production has met a fair amount of protest from fans of the original. The protest caused directors David Yates, Pablo Larrain and David Ayer to walk away from the project, however, director Antoine Fuqua feels up for the task.

Fuqua mentioned that he’s interested in turning Scarface into an urban thug and wants to cast Denzel Washington as the lead, but those plans, hopefully, have gone out the window now that Diego Luna is reportedly being eyed for the part.

THE CROW

Jason Momoa The Crow
Upcoming movie reboots: The Crow

Not only is The Crow just a cult classic, but to many it is also a memorial piece to the late Brandon Lee who suffered a tragic injury on the set that ended up costing him his life.

The Crow reboot was supposed to release on October 11, 2019 and was supposed to star Aquaman’s Jason Momoa as The Crow, but the actor bailed and director Corin Hardy decided to pass on the film, so Sony pulled the film its release slate and it is now back in pre-production.

LABYRINTH

Jared Leto as Jareth in Labyrinth reboot
Rumour: Jared Leto to star as Jareth in Labyrinth reboot

The Labyrinth is more than just an awesome musical film, it kind of acts like an extension to David Bowie’s discography. You’d have to be really stupid to reboot it, right?

Well, director Fede Alvarez, known for his work with The Girl in the Spider’s Web is now set to direct an upcoming reboot of the classic eighties fantasy film. They have the script, all they are missing is a fit replacement for the Goblin King. Who the hell has the balls to take on that iconic role?

007

Lashana Lynch is 007 James Bond
Confirmed: Lashana Lynch to take over as 007

Contrary to popular belief, James Bond is, in a way, being rebooted. The upcoming 007 film will be Daniel Craig’s last and will act as an origin story to a new 007 who The Daily Mail describe as “a beautiful black woman.”

The decision to get rid off James Bond was made after pressure from the LGBTQ communities protest that Sony pictures were celebrating and promoting toxic masculinity by making a film about a straight white male who is also a womaniser. They demanded a gay or lesbian secret agent with the license to thrill and kill. “Swap the tuxedo for dungarees, the sports car for a low-emission Mini and the martini for a pint of Stella, and you have the perfect Bond for the 21st century,” wrote Julie Bindel of the Guardian. And they got what they wanted.

Captain Marvel’s Lashana Lynch will take over as the new 007 as a black, butch and beautiful lesbian spy after her debut in the upcoming 2020 Bond film No Time to Die.

Harry Potter

Harry Potter show reboot
Joshua Pickering rumoured to play Harry Potter.

The wizarding world is set to make its debut on the small screen with a new series announced on April 12, 2023. This yet-untitled venture, often referred to as a Harry Potter TV series, is set to be aired on Max (formerly HBO Max). The announcement has since sent ripples through the expansive Harry Potter fandom, eagerly awaiting every detail regarding the return of the “Boy Who Lived”​. The series intends to follow the narrative of the original seven-book series, but this time spread over seven seasons, allowing for a more detailed exploration of J.K. Rowling’s magical universe​​.

Although the original film series is cherished, some fans argue that a TV series format could be what the wizarding world needs to explore the depths of the story left untouched by the films. However, others remain skeptical, believing that the original film series still holds its magic and a reboot might not live up to the monumental expectations set by it.

The Wonder Years

The Wonder Years
The Wonder Years reboot is just boring.

The reboot of The Wonder Years brought forth a fresh perspective, set in the late 1960s and centered around a Black middle-class family in Montgomery, Alabama​​. The reboot, however, faced an untimely demise as it was cancelled by ABC after its second season, with the premiere of the second season being pushed to summer 2023 due to unspecified reasons​.

While the reboot attempted to navigate through the narrative with a modern lens, many argue that the essence of the original series could not be recaptured. The changing times and societal norms challenge the narrative’s relatability, which was a cornerstone of the original series’ success.

Dexter

Dexter New Blood
Let sleeping dogs lie.

The universe of America’s favorite serial killer is expanding with a new prequel series, Dexter: Origins, and possibly additional spin-offs. This comes after the recent continuation series “Dexter: New Blood”, which focused on Dexter’s son, Harrison Morgan, and his struggle with his violent tendencies​. However, despite the continuous expansion, Showtime decided not to move forward with a second season of “Dexter: New Blood” and instead is planning a reboot centered on the early years of Dexter​​.

While Dexter: New Blood aimed to extend the narrative, the essence of “Dexter” that captivated the audience was felt to be missing by some. The saying “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” resonates with many fans who believe the original series had a fitting conclusion and any further additions seem forced and inorganic.

Rugrats

Nobody needs a Rugrats 3D remake. Ewww!

Nickelodeon’s iconic show Rugrats made a comeback with a reboot that premiered its second season on April 14, 2023, on Paramount+. The series adheres to its original premise, focusing on the adventurous one-year-old Tommy Pickles and his group of infant friends, with the addition of a new format and adventures​.

The original Rugrats series holds a nostalgic charm for many, making it a timeless classic. The reboot, while well-intentioned, faces the challenge of living up to the adoration the original series commands. The fear of tarnishing cherished childhood memories looms large with reboots like this, as they venture into the delicate territory of reimagining beloved classics.

There you have it: from peculiar movie reboots like The Crow starring Jason Momoa, Big Trouble in Little China with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and Scarface, to a television adaptation of Harry Potter, these are ventures that nobody really asked for. Yet, the question remains: will they be any good?

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