It’s been confirmed, the next 007 movie, No Time To Die, will be the last to feature the famous secret agent James Bond. He will be replaced by a black lesbian Lashana Lynch.
Hollywood is getting rid of the legendary British spy James Bond because — well — he’s a bit too problematic for them: misogynistic, sexist and even racist. Not everybody believes that, but the sensitive new aged producers in charge of the film certainly do.
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Yep! It’s bye bye Mr Bond. The 007 franchise is making a bold move by getting rid off their main character and introducing us to to agent Nomi, a butch and brown lesbian super spy; so exotic right?
Nomi, played by LBGTQ+ actress Lashana Lunch, is a lesbian super spy who is assigned as James Bond’s partner on a very special mission that will be his last.
Now prepare to be shocked and amazed! I got to see a leaked copy of the early script and — oh boy — is it going to piss many people off, that is to say if they haven’t done a complete rewrite, so brace yourselves (oh and skip the next sentence if you don’t want spoilers).
No Time To Die is going full Game of Thrones, maybe even a little The Last of Us Part II. Nomi, the powerful female and proudly lesbian 00 agent, is assigned to follow James Bond in his last assignment and kill him in the end… and it is brutal, she shows no mercy.
When I first heard the new 007 theme song by Billie Bob Eilish earlier this year I got this sinking feeling in my stomach. Heck, they are taunting us in the song.
I’ve fallen for a lie
You were never on my side
Fool me once, fool me twice
Are you death or paradise?
Now you’ll never see me cry
There’s just no time to die
Yep, you should have never trusted that an agent with a silly name like Nomi. How dumb can a man be, really?
Well, in the movie James Bond is pretty useless as he gets outperformed in nearly every way by his partner Nomi Nomi. She even pulls more girls than he does. She makes James Bond look a chump.
I’m not lying, and for those of you who don’t believe Sony are dumb enough to kill of James Bond, they have confirmed that James Bond is now more and that Lashana Lynch is taking over. That means that something happens to bond, you know I’m right.
Here’s Lashana’s response to the haters.
“I am one Black woman — if it were another Black woman cast in the role, it would have been the same conversation, she would have got the same attacks, the same abuse,” she said. “I just have to remind myself that the conversation is happening and that I’m a part of something that will be very, very revolutionary.”
Yep. She played the race card. She is even comparing this to some kind of major revolution.
It honestly seems that she didn’t read the criticism. People aren’t unhappy because she is black, as a matter of fact a lot of 007 fans petitioned for Idris Elba to be the next James Bond. People are upset that it’s no longer James Bond… it’s some black Jamaican lesbian called Nomi Nomi.
Still, I think outrage is warranted if it was a white woman playing Jamie Bond. It does such great disservice to the original source material. James Bond 007 is a legendary character.
Do you think they wouldn’t mind if Shuri from the Black Panther was changed to a white male character name David Davidson?
If you’re still interested, No Time To Die starring Daniel Craig as the wimpy secret agent and Lashana Lynch as the emodiment of woman power hits theatres across the globe in April, 2021.